Dammit, I had a title for this blog, and a fine one, that. I know it's out there on one of your servers, Blogger.I know, and kills you that I know what you thought I didn't know now know.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

An unamazing revelation


I feel the need to comment on this open-source fan fiction production of Star Wars. Let me say first, the CGI is good. As a man who was raised by videogames, the graphics are top-notch(almost).The production values are passable as well. However, the acting SUCKS. Bad. Like real bad. Porno actors can do better in their clothes. Fanboys' movies okay, fanboy actors, bad. I still have to salute their efforts, nonetheless. The movie takes place between episodes three and four and some plot device about a device with powers that people with powers want, but...etc, etc. One of the Jedis looks like the comic book store guy, the other guy looks like my boss(that's not good), one Jedi chick is passable as doable, the other is plain nasty. Finally the "Emporor's Hand" is attractive as Palpatine's ass. That's what they should have called her. Fat, ugly, and a bad actress. In fair warning, there's a scene where you can see her ROLLS under her tights. Dudes, there are no ROLLS in space, get it right damn you, for the love of all that is holy. The movie runs 40 minutes, and overall worth some time away from BS TV. If anything, it'll remind Joe American that Hollywood does put out a good production, on difffering levels. I'm now forming a plan for AvP fan fiction, which will undoubtedly feature great amounts of FIRE, BLOOD, and EXPLOSIONS, not necessarily in that order.

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